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GET FIRED

The Audience

  1. Book what you like, not what they will like.
  2. Make sure it’s bland and unmemorable.

The Entertainer

  1. Hire an act without references or support material.
  2. Get a performer who treats you as a one-off.
  3. Get a “one size fits all” act.
  4. Go with the cheapest act.
  5. Get someone who is insensitive to your audience.

The Venue

  1. Don’t worry about the sound equipment.
  2. Get really big centre pieces and lots of balloons.
  3. Longer equals better.
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